An Awkward Wal-Mart Encounter

I’m going to preface all of this by saying I’m a big fan of Wal-Mart. They’re the most successful international business, and they have an excellent company structure and system. There I said it.

Photo is from wikimedia.

Photo is from wikimedia.

If you’ve ever gone into a store and bought something, and as you’re making your way to the exit, that alarm thing starts going crazy, and everyone is stopping and looking at you like you’re some sort of criminal, then you know how awkward my trip to Wal-Mart was yesterday.

But before I go and explain all of that, let’s talk about something else first. Okay, so I try really hard not to be stereotypical, but I know when I say “Wal-Mart greeters” you’re all envisioning the same type of person. They’re my favorite Wal-Mart workers, but almost half the time I wonder how they even made it to sit in that place just inside the exit.

Sometimes you’ll get a really friendly greeting, if it’s early in the morning. But I’m telling you, once you hit afternoon it’s hard to tell if those greeters are even conscious. I always smile and nod at the greeters, but when I walked into Wal-Mart yesterday around 3 p.m., the man sitting on his scooter didn’t acknowledge me, so I’m not sure if he was awake.

Anyway, I’ve been wanting to test out that pirate show called Black Sails, so when I saw season one was on sale, I had to grab it. Black Sails was on SALE! Hah! So I went to the self-checkout… because I’m modern and independent, and I quickly had all my items bagged and paid for.  But that’s when the worst thing happened.

As I walked past the greeter, and toward the door, that alarm thing sounded once, and I heard an old and shaky voice yell “Hey!” somewhat feebly. Surely I’m not the one who set off the alarm. It’s never me. It’s always someone else. I kept right on walking until the alarm sounded again followed by another “Hey!”

I froze in my steps. Oh nooooooo! Everyone was staring at me. They all knew what I had done. I had set off the alarm. I turned back toward the greeter, and there he was glaring at me, with his hand raised in the air, yelling “Hey! Hey! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!”

Even today, I’m not sure if being confronted by Gandalf-In-A-Scooter was funny, awesome or terrifying. Thankfully I really hadn’t done anything wrong. Some code on Black Sails had to be turned off, which the girl managing the check-out section of the store was happy to do. And so I escaped unscathed.

So the next time you think you could never be the one who set off the alarm in Wal-Mart… think again.

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